Learning about Surrogate Parenting
Couples who are having difficulties having a child on their own, but would prefer not to adopt are discovering alternatives with surrogate parenting. Surrogate parenting would mean that another woman would be willing to bear the couple’s child through in-vitro fertilization. With this process, in-vitro which means “outside,” the egg cell will be fertilized by the sperm outside the womb. A surrogate mom will undergo this process to bear the child of the couple and will surrender all the rights to the child after giving birth. Although the surrogate may choose whether or not to be involved with the child as it grows up, it will all depend on what terms are included in the contract. Hiring a surrogate parent and becoming a surrogate as well are both big decisions that should be carefully considered.
Usually, a surrogate mother will be paid for her services and all medical expenses related to the pregnancy and birth will be paid as well. You may wonder why any woman would want to be a surrogate, after all nine months of pregnancy and childbirth is no small task. In some cases, the surrogate is close to the parents, a friend or family member who wants to help fulfill a loved one's dream. Others are in the surrogacy business for the money, although some also say they feel good about helping people become parents who may not be able to otherwise.
For women considering becoming a surrogate, it is important that they understand all the details of what they are agreeing to. Many surrogates have their own children and do not want any more. This is a preferred situation because some may become attached to the baby if it is the first one they have ever had. They might change their mind at the last minute and want to keep the baby – whether or not they can is also a detail of the contract between the surrogate and person(s) they are carrying for. There will need to be a legally binding document drawn up by an attorney who handles surrogacy cases.
If you are unable to bear children with your partner and want to explore surrogate parenting as an option, there are a variety of resources that can help you. Many websites offer information about surrogacy in your local area. There may be laws and regulations in your locality regarding surrogate pregnancy. You may also want to join message boards and forums for surrogates or parents who are using surrogates. There are also many great books on the subject, such as Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates: Answering Tough Questions and Building Strong Families by Diane Ehrensaft.
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